For me, there is no greater fear than cutting into a luscious piece of fabric, when I know I’m not at the size I want to be. Why should I make something now when surely my size will change in the future? This hasn’t only been true recently, or when I’ve been in larger sizes. It’s something I’ve always been nervous about.
Stacy London and Clinton Kelly often tell participants on their show, What Not to Wear, that they need to dress for the bodies they have now. Even if you’re working on losing weight, it’s important to feel good in what you’re wearing. When you wear clothes you love, it makes you feel better, which can help motivate you. And so it continues.
That philosophy, buying clothes I love that fit well now, is directly opposed to the one I fall victim to. Instead of that positive outlook, I’ve been thinking “Well, I really want to lose weight, so I should just get something that works for right now that’s cheap and buy my real wardrobe later…” How can someone feel good when they are essentially saying to themselves, “I don’t deserve good clothes now, because of x, y, and z.” or “I don’t think I’m worth having good clothes.” or “Insert negative phrase about body image here?”
It all translates into: “I’m not happy with me, now.”
Sure, fabric can be expensive. We might mess up. We might cut out fabric and realize that we don’t like the style of the outfit we’re going to sew. We might even tell ourselves, “I’ll use that fabric, the good fabric, when I have the body for it.”
I’ve done this! I have several pieces of fabric I feel that way about. I’ve had some of those pieces since 1998! That’s sixteen years of holding onto fabric thinking, “I’ll sew this when the time is perfect.” Sixteen years! If I told a client I was holding off on a project until the conditions were just right for sixteen years, well, that client would get fairly fed up with me!
So, why do we do this to our bodies? All too often, women tell ourselves that our current bodies are not good enough to be draped in the lovely fabric we are so excited about.
Well, I’m finished with that thinking! I’ve decided to go ahead and start cutting into that fabric I’ve saved for the perfect day. One of the things on my to-make list is Vogue 8875.
I plan on making the dress with this dragon fabric I bought shortly after my son was born. I think it will look awesome and plan on wearing it out on a date with my husband. I cannot remember what I originally bought the fabric to make, but I bought a lot of it, and then it sat, sad and lonely, wanting to fulfill its purpose as fabric.
Of course, I’m also nervous about messing up – either in cutting out the fabric or in assembling the pattern. What if I don’t like the way the fabric looks when it’s done?
Oh, but these are all excuses. It’s time to dismiss with the excuses and start sewing!
What fabric have you been saving for that “perfect” moment? What are your excuses for not cutting into it?
Editor’s Note: The Curvy Opinions series is about sharing personal experiences and providing honest individual perspectives. The posts will sometimes be controversial and not everyone will agree with them, but they will always be positive! We would love to know what you think in the comments.
I have my quilting stash and my fashion fabric stash. I get scared to cut into the fashion fabric due to the fear of what happens if it doesn’t fit. Then I would have wasted all that time and effort. I got a great tropical print in Antiqua in 1990 when on a quilting Cruise with the late Doreen Speckman (quilter). The summer of 2013 I finally hauled it out and made a simple ‘pillow case’ style sun dress out of it! I needed something easy to sew and something easy to get in and out of. I’ve had fun wearing it and I’m glad I did. I held onto one chunk of fabric almost 10 years and then finally sewed it up. I think just about everytime I’m out in it I get compliments on it and am so proud to say I got the fabric for $4 at a yard sale. Now if I can just force myself to do more to have a legitimate reason to get rid of my 20 year old garments that I made and refuse to fall apart (the joys of making it yourself!)
I guess mine is a little more complicated. Some of my clothes don’t fit very well because I am scared to take actual measurements. I think I don’t really want to know. When fitting me I revert to “near enough is good enough”. Fitting others is easy.
I also have fabric that I’ve had for 20-odd years, saved for “something good”. Some of the fabric I don’t even like any more, and now realise I could have been wearing it at the time I liked it.
As I said, complicated.
I too suffer from this. I have recently lost 50 pounds and I still have the same attitude. Having recently discussed this with friends I am unanimous with all of you, what am I saving it for. Last year I lost a friend who was dear to me. Her husband gave our group of friends her stash to share, my point in this is what are we waiting for? If we make something we feel beautiful in, the worst case is we take it apart and remake it. Come on, let’s get sewing!
Jan
I decided last year after going through my stash to get rid of the cheap fabrics I don’t love unless it would make a good muslin.
I also decided that if I don’t use my good and lovely fabrics my daughter in law will send it all to a charity shop when I get put in a nursing home. I might as well just use it.
So use it I must!!!
The number of posts shows just how many of us think the same way. I have tons of beautiful clothes (both RTW and my creations), that are waiting for me to lose 25 lbs. I tell myself I’m using the cheep fabric for pattern testing but if I’m being honest…I’m saving the good stuff for weight loss, which may never happen.
I wish I knew the secret to loving my body the way it is but I don’t. At 52, I’ve probably ‘liked’ my body for about 3 of my adult years. However looking at pics from that time, I realize I was on the verge of an eating disorder and I looked like a different person. I don’t want to go back but I still want to lose 25-35 lbs to feel better and feel better about myself.
I so admire you and the rest of the curvy ladies who have embraced your curves and live your lives in the bodies you have instead of waiting for a different one.
Uwww, Ronda, girl, get outta my head, LOL. This is one of those blog posts that as you’re reading you’re commenting out loud in agreement (and people are looking at you as if you have two heads).
Yearsss ago I purchased that fabric you see Cheongsam’s made of. Girrlll, it is purple and GORRRgeous. It is still in the bag (at the bottom of my fabric stash, arghhhh). Then there’s the REAL African mudcloth that I purchased to make a sheath out of I don’t know how long ago. Certainly at size (off the pattern charts) I can’t wear a sheath let alone cut into my MUDCLOTH!!!!!!!
Excellent post, touching a lot of us as you see. Good job.
Cheers,
Lyric
http://www.sewlyricallyvintage.wordpress.com
This post has come at the perfect time for me! I have just finished sorting out my sewing room and fabric stash. I have fabric that I have had for nearly 10 years. I am one of those who has waited until I lose weight before I use my good fabrics. Of course I haven’t managed to lose weight hence why the fabrics are still sitting in my cupboard. I have so many beautiful lengths so Irish and Italian linens and so many pieces of liberty that I have been petrified to cut into. My plan for this weekend is to make one thing out of one of these fabrics. Thank you for the great post!
Yep, I’m adding my name to list of people guilty as charged!
Ridiculously enough, I don’t even have any expensive/luxury fabrics in my stash because I stop myself at the purchasing stage because “I don’t want to buy that yet as I’m going to lose weight so it will be a waste to get it now”. Although I have got (and don’t laugh!) some old curtains set aside that I am waiting to use when I’m slimmer – and they were a freebie from my step mum having a clear out!
My fears are based on a lack of skill, and not wanting to ruin/waste limited resources. When I first learned a little about sewing, it was back in the day when sewing was what you (meaning Mom) did when ready made was too expensive. (Yes, I have gray hair, and I’ve earned every one of them, hee hee.)
The prior post by Sophie-Lee and New Vintage Lady really put the ol’ brain into work mode. I have a lot to learn. Diagnosing fit issues and trying to figure out how to fix them scare me. However, (and this was big for me): what ever I make will always be better than what I have access to! At the very least it will be one of a kind because of the choices sewers get to make (fabric, pattern, etc), and the construction will always be better because I choose to make it that way.
I’m very grateful for everyone who shares their skills and helps me to improve mine. I’m really looking forward to becoming more capable and independent with my sewing, and one day being able to share what I’ve learned.
I will learn and improve as I go, and I will always like the fabric! Education always requires an investment in time, effort, and resources, so NO FEAR and GET BUSY is what I tell myself now as I get my sewing things out. Wahoo!
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I have a crippling fear of cutting into nice fabric for fear of ruining it. But I have very little time for sewing, and no extra money in my budget to buy muslin and make a “draft” first. I have to use what little time I have to make something I will wear. But then I just don’t do it!!! That’s why I subscribed to this post, to build up my enthusiasm and courage for sewing! Thanks to all who post here, I read all of it and one day soon I will make myself something very nice to wear – and nothing would make me happier than to lose so much weight that I have to modify it to a smaller size so I can still wear it!!!
Ann Blackwell
I made this dress twice! Check out my posts. I used a special fabric for the second one too. 🙂
Great pattern but the bodice is a little tricky.
Email me if you have any questions!
OMG is this post talking to me or what? I buy patterns and gorgeous fabric for the ‘one day’ moment, thinking the outfit would look better on me if I lost X amount of dress sizes. Or, I have to upsize at least 3 or 4 dress sizes to make this–no, not today. Then I use the cheap fabric to make my usual tunics and pants. One person (actually two) that really caught my attention is Barbara Deckert, author of ‘Sewing for Plus Sizes’ and teacher of a Craftsy class by the same name. She uses beautiful, quality fabrics to make her size 32 wardrobe. The first thing I think ‘oh, that’s too much money’. Too much money for my budget–or too much to spend on myself? Sad. The other is a blogger, Carolyn of Diary of a Sewing Fanatic. She has created a fantastic wardrobe by following what works for her lifestyle and her plus sized body. As I type this, I’m remembering my mother’s statement when I was a child ‘I’m not buying any clothes until I lose some weight’. Of course, she never lost weight, she gained weight. As a result, her wardrobe has consisted of old, poorly fitting pants and tops. Even though I don’t say it verbally, my actions say I am not worth the effort, time, or money to invest in a wardrobe that would represent me well. Well, this is the end of the line for me. I’ve got plans to make myself an outfit this weekend. The (good) fabric is on the cutting table and I am moving forward–no turning back. Thank you for posting this.
I was really moved by what you wrote, having had similar experiences of having learned from an early age from women around me that fat bodies are bad bodies. There is a really powerful spoken word piece about this on Button Poetry (no personal gain for me to mention it, I hope this isn’t inappropriate advertising), called Shrinking Women that has really helped me put that behind me. Much love xx
This is perfect timing for me. It has taken me so many years to figure out “I am what I am and that’s a GOOD thing”. Yep, I have fabric out the wazooooo just waiting for me to get REAL and I began inching along on that journey this year. I am not all that great a sewer. I lean more toward the adequate category which means I’m a bit fearful of complicated patterns. I have a small stash of tried and true patterns that I fall back on. However, this year I have dipped my toe outside my comfort zone and have made a more tailored blouse out of a beautiful eyelet fabric that I’m sure I have owned for 20 years plus. I didn’t have enough for the whole blouse so I was forced to again take a deep breath and make this garment out of two DIFFERENT fabrics. Now fellow sewers this was a HUGE adventure for me as I am the original “one fabric, one garment” gal. Ya knows what???? It turned out to be a total success for me… It’s not perfect (understatement) but it is a good fit, nice look and makes me feel great. And, after all, isn’t that what creativity is all about. I love the positivity of the posts here. Thanks for encouraging self confidence in a big way.
I’ve been gifted with some 1930s flour sacking that my grandmother could not bring herself to cut into. My mother never used it, either. That’s a long time to hold off using fabric, and it’s not even particularly nice stuff! I plan to sew it up into some loose blouses for summertime wear, and wear those until they are too disreputable to be seen in public, then wear them for pajamas until they fall apart. Far better to use something than to let it sit in a corner until it is too fragile to use for anything, in this woman’s opinion. (I use the “good” china all the time, too.)
Wow, you are so right. I look at my fabric and think I some of this I have had it for 10 years and still have not sewn it b/c I am not the “right” size. Thank you for inspiring me to get on with life now.
I wish this was a lesson I had learned in my 30s instead of in my 50s…I didn’t even get family portraits done when my family was young because I was waiting to loose the weight. What a terrible waste. Why weight? As someone else posted, now that I am learning to sew, I can alter my beautifully sewn clothing as needed. 🙂
I have several 1 yard cuts of Liberty Tana Lawn. Not really enough to make a garment out of. But my MIL is bringing me some 2 yard cuts she bought in London. I have been keeping my eye out for some projects but I am nervous about messing it up! Sometimes I waver and think I will just use it to make something for my little girls, or a scarf or something.
Omg! This is me! I have lots of gorgeous fabrics that I haven’t sewn because I do want to lose some weight. I love Stacey and Clinton and their completely right! I’m tired of feeling bad about my body. When I look at my body, I don’t think it’s bad, but it’s the social and family pressures that gets into my head.
I love this sewing collective that you guys created. I love reading your articles more then any other blog. It applies to every women. It’s very informative and relatable. Keep up the great work!
When I stared sewing, I would buy fabrics to use “when I get better at sewing,” but if I’m honest, I was actually buying for “when I’m thinner.” My fabric stash is now ridiculous-bordering-on-hoarding! In the last year, I made some changes, and have lost a significant amount of weight. I just pulled out some 8-years-stashed embroidered silk that I bought to use for a dress, and I’m fighting off pangs of doubt over whether or not I’m “ready.” I am a much better seamstress than I was 8 years ago, but I think working up the nerve to make that first cut has a lot more to do with not feeling like I deserve to wear embroidered silk even after accomplishing so much. Waiting until you’re Good Enough might mean waiting forever if we don’t love ourselves regardless of size or shape.
OMG this is so me! I have a beautiful pink fabric that is near to 20yrs old but you know what reading the comments now and no doubt there will be more to come is really inspirational. It’s heading winter now but, beautiful pink fabric you are going to be my first make in the summer.
Love your siteX
There seems to be someone or something that “must ” come before me. It wasn’t always like this; years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about shopping for fabric, clothes and especially shoes! Now, I hoard patterns and then tell myself that I am not worthy of the fabric. I think if I could just jump the first hurdle and actually DO IT I’d be on my way to a much nicer wardrobe. However, that first step can be difficult.
I absolutely hate the way I dress now and use the excuse that I’m a SAHM that I don’t need anything new or nice. I need help :-/
I was definitely like this in the past, but no longer! It’s so much better to wear fabric that you love rather than hoard it away in your stash. Even if your body does change, that’s the joy of sewing – you can change things! And just like you said, there’s always more good fabric coming up… there’s definitely not a finite supply 🙂
I am guilty of not using “special fabrics” that I have bought, but not because I want to get to a different size. I am comfortable with my body. It shrinks and it grows with the changing seasons, and I accept that.
I think my mentality is that I don’t want to use the special fabric in a frivolous way, only to have a need for it later and wish I still had it. That has happened before, and I guess it scarred me.
The nice thing about knowing how to sew is also being able to alter clothing if I do lose weight. At this time, though, I dress for who I am, which is a fabulous curvy chick with style. 🙂 I don’t fear cutting into pretty fabric.
Yes, I am indeed guilty but my weakness stems from the fabric being being purchase for a project but not wanting to cut into it because I don’t want to use for the pattern I selected. I love fabric so it just to pretty to cut. So yeah, I’m trying to get past that, lol.
I’m a new sewer, and yet already I have this ‘save it until …’ habit.
Three ideas are helping me resist this, at the moment:
1. I have a long, long way to go on the diet. It would take at least a year, possibly two, to get to my ideal weight. Things that fit me now could have plenty of wear in that time, so it is well worth making them.
2. I made something to fit me at the size I am now. Feedback from friends at work was to ask if I had lost weight and to tell me that I looked really good. Lesson learned: if you wear clothes that fit, you will look better and feel better.
3. I don’t yet know how to alter clothes, but by the time I need to know that, I will – or I can reuse the fabric for something else, even just as trim to liven up a simple item. So some fabric will get an extended life.
I used to suffer from not buying things because I wanted to wait until I was skinnier. Even now, I didn’t want to make up a Nettie because I thought maybe I wasn’t the right size for it. After seeing it on all shapes and sizes, I realized the only thing holding me back was Me. It’s not easy shrugging off the concept that we aren’t “good enough” to deserve something.
You are so right! I too have had the mentality of thinking that I should wait to do things until I’ve lost weight. Now is the time for action. Great post!
Liberty. The Strawberry Thief pattern. I project-buy rather than stash, but this was the exception–too entranced by the Arts & Crafts connections. One of the problems I have with “too perfect fabric” is I think there”ll never be another I like as well. Which is garbage–whole industries are predicated on creating the perception that new is better–it is maximizer thinking (“the best”) rather than satisficer thinking (“that’ll work”). What I should think is that fabric I’ve already bought is better than fabric I’ll have to buy… But that sort of thinking, applied by everyone all the time, would bring down empires.