Soooooo. Not everything we sew turns out the way we want. Even worse, sometimes we sew something up, match the plaid like a dream, have a beautiful fly, and . . . Yeah, sometimes the finished garment is a *womp womp* nightmare. Ugh.
I started out writing this post about a pair of trousers, and then said trousers turned into a plaid, cashmere wadder. I’m now left with no trousers, but, I decided to press on with this post for the sheer reason that part of a collective is about the process, the success, and the failure. Though, in this case I’m calling these pants a “failess”, meaning a half fail, and a half success on the execution of plaid, that fly front, and–well–because the process was fun.
The pattern culprit: Vogue V8836. View C. Very Easy Vogue to boot.
I shamelessly crowdsourced the pattern, asking if I should brave new water or go down the TNT path. Le sigh. The crowd and I leaned toward the Vogue pattern.
Man. I so wanted to be Marlene Deitrich. I almost had it! So close, but kismet was not in the air for this one.
First up: I didn’t bother hemming these or putting the button on the waist. Once that waistband was in I was all “Oh hells no on a frozen Saturday in hell itself!”
And . . . so that we can discuss this pattern without wondering if I’m over reacting, here’s a side view (since we are all going to be side-eyeing these anyway). Do you feel my pain yet?
Ok, and for my own vanity, I can really make pants folks. Of course, the real point is that just because a sewing project bombs doesn’t meant you should give up. Of course, when bombtastic horrors happen, promptly walk to your closet and find a completed project that you love. Remember that over the sad horror shows.
Thurlows, Baby. Thurlows. And yes, my purple plaid are the bomb. I’ve got a black pair, that are faded past grey, with half naked men lining the pockets. No fear, they’ll show up in May for Me Made. Always do. And yea, ain’t none of us on the east coast anywhere near shorts right now.
One of my Thurlow posts, but . . . wait for Me Made May. Thurlows will appear. Trust me. So with those in mind, I remind myself that pants do come out. These, now, are just ones of those things . . .
Okay, so that Vogue . . . now that we we know pants are possible!
I cut a size 22. I shortened them two inches before cutting. Next, matched my plaid like a sewing diva.
Was so good . . .
Le sigh, for dramatics.
Then . . . Then I scooped a whopping two inch seam from the crotch, a half inch seam from the rear (and that made me feel great, honestly), and still the crotch is like a frumpy flag down there. Yes, this is on top of the 5/8ths seam allowance. Wowsa!
Okay, full on side eye:
What is with that crotch length? Fly paper for freaks is what it is. Imagine it before I scooped all that excess out!
I would say so much shame, but yea . . . things happen folks. Sometimes a pattern is just not meant to be. If I had a small, flat butt, a small, flat as a pancake stomach, and straight, flat hips (over my pear-like ones) then yeah . . . I could so be pulling a Marlene right now. C’est la vie.
Instead . . . I have a folded up pair of pants that are hibernating until next winter when I cut them up into a paneled pencil skirt. See? Cashmere blend saved, warmth found for next winter as I refuse to believe this one will not end. It might be the el cheapo, questionable cashmere from an infamously famous “always going out of business” shop in the garment district, but . . . it’s still worth saving for a skirt in the future.
Pattern Rating (1-5)
- Size Range: 4 (there was one size after the one I cut)
- Instructions: 3 (The fly insertion was iffy, but that is also a personal taste issue of sorts. )
- Construction Process: 5
- Eh . . . the fly insertion is iffy, I read it and thought it needed to remind a sewer to–ya know–have the overlap to make the fly closed and showing the zipper. I tend to insert flies in an old school way, as someone once said “we stopped inserting flies like that in the ’40s! You and your over detail.” Eh . . . we each have our own methods, so I keep my fly insertion method. The rest of the instructions are what you expect for pants. Sewing up the crotch was particularly well illustrated though.
- Of course, I also believe the process is what you make of it. I was in my head, in a good place–actually I was remembering a beautiful week of work on the southern coast of Turkey and a day in Greece–so the pants were a great deal of fun to sew from a learning and technical standpoint.
- Final Fit: eh
- Overall Rating: 1
This pattern . . . it ain’t for the curvy. I escaped my own chaotic portal for a few hours on these, but. . . never again.
Rest assured, my table is already going with the next project: a palate cleanse of TNT goodness: a Nettie bodysuit and a couple more bras. So, when the trousers go to hell in a hand basket, set out to make some near instant gratification pieces to ease your seam-ripped soul.
So now that I gave you my horror show du jour, tell me . . . what are some sad makes of your own? Oh, we all have them. Yes, yes we do.