I recently bought a dress pattern. It’s a very nice dress pattern, Myrtle by Colette Patterns. But here’s the problem: I don’t wear dresses.
I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of person, but occasionally I find myself with a dress pattern, a pile of fabric and notions, and Grandiose Plans to make a dress. “This dress will be different”, I tell myself. “This is the dress I will wear!”
Sewing for me goes something like this: I adjust the pattern to fit my body, which involves much wailing and gnashing of teeth, since I’m three sizes larger on the bottom than on the top. Besides the full bust adjustment, I have to do something for my hips and butt and thighs, so that I essentially take the pattern as a sort of amorphous idea of what the final thing should look like, then chop it into a million pieces and use advanced calculations to put it back together. By that time, I’m sick of the whole thing. And it looks nothing like the ‘pattern’. (I would love to just sew together two bedsheets and call it a ‘dress’, but that hasn’t become a style yet.)
Then I start sewing, which usually involves ripping out and re-sewing some portion at least once. I am impatient at the machine and that is how I work. There are always those last-minute ‘adjustments’ because the machine ate some important piece of the material, or I ripped out a seam and accidentally put a hole in the fabric in an important place, or I just got carried away and sewed something shut that was supposed to stay open. Finally, after much fiddling and tears, I try it on. It usually looks pretty nice. Or, sometimes, it’s an epic failure. But I’ll confine my comments below to the ones that actually turn out.
At last, I hang the dress in my closet. The next time I come across it is during my annual “weeding of the closet” when I donate things I haven’t worn in the past year. That is when I’m honest with myself and I realize I will never wear the dress, so it goes in the donation pile. I’ve done this several times already. I am tired of donating my handiwork to charity and never being able to enjoy it myself. But I don’t like wearing dresses – so why do I keep making them?
I think that part of sewing and doing other crafts is aspirational. I wasn’t buying a pattern to sew a dress. I was buying a pattern to be someone else. To live someone else’s life. Possibly even to have someone else’s body. To be the sort of person who wears dresses, who glides through life wearing heels (sensible ones), accessories, makeup, a stunning hairstyle, etc. I do none of those things in real life; that is not who I am. When I’m honest with myself, I also realize that it’s not who I really want to be, either. It’s like dreaming about being a movie star – it sounds glamorous, but then I realize that I really wouldn’t want to be one.
I know what I like to wear. My wardrobe is entirely made up of pants and knit shirts. My ideal outfit will always be jeans hung low on the hips and a t-shirt that is super soft from lots of wear. (I’m much like the woman in this Carol Rossetti drawing. If you haven’t looked at Carol’s drawings, you really should.)
Source: Carol Rosetti
This is not to say that I will never make a dress again. I once sewed a Renaissance costume (Simplicity 3809) just because I wanted to try something challenging, and it had boning in the vest. I wore it to a few Halloween parties. There’s nothing wrong with sewing whatever it is I want to sew, but I need to be realistic about garments that I’m sewing with the intention of wearing them. This is especially so if you’re not awash in cash to spend on things you will never actually wear. I would never go into a clothing store and buy a dress, because I know I would never wear it. But if I sew it myself, I somehow expect that will magically transform me into a dress-wearing person.
I am sure I am not the only person who has bought a pattern and all the supplies and then realized I was just kidding myself if I thought I’d ever wear it. There are so many dresses featured on sewing sites and blogs, and I just get sucked in to how much fun everyone is having making them. But I know my style, and dresses are not part of it.
We should all sew for our own style, even if it’s not what other people would say is the “right” thing to wear. If I had my druthers, I’d wear most of the oversized flowy stuff in the J.Jill catalog, even though most people would say that’s not ‘right’ for my body. (The main reason I don’t wear their clothes is that they clearly do not cut their clothes for the ‘generous pears’ among us. I would have to buy clothes about four sizes too big to wear it with the same effect as their models, only they don’t actually sell stuff in that size. Not to mention, the shoulders on the shirts would be dropping down to my elbows if I did that.)
Dress the way you want to dress. Wear crop tops. Wear big bold prints. Wear horizontal stripes, if that’s what you want to do. Maybe you’ve been putting off making your dream garment because the Fashion Police would tell you it is all wrong for your body. Well, it’s time to rebel against The Fashion Man and wear what you want to wear. Part of looking good is being confident. I am most confident when I look like I am dressed to do home improvements – wearing that worn-in pair of jeans and the 60’s rock t-shirt with the paint splatters on it. Put me in a dress and I’m so self-conscious and uncomfortable that other people pick up on that vibe and ask me if something is wrong.
I am going to focus my attention on sewing the patterns I’ll really wear in the fabrics I like. I encourage you to do the same.
The upshot to this is that I have a copy of Myrtle that I’d like to give away. To enter the drawing, leave a comment below about a pattern you’ve purchased or a garment you’ve sewn only to realize that you’d never really wear it. (If you haven’t had that experience, leave a comment about a garment you’ve bought only to realize later that you would never wear it.). The giveaway ends on 20th October at midnight EST. Due to shipping costs, this giveaway is for US residents only.
The Curvy Opinions series is about sharing personal experiences and providing honest individual perspectives. The posts will sometimes be controversial and not everyone will agree with them, but they will always be positive! We would love to know what you think in the comments.
Late to the party, but… A self-drafted, ‘distressed’ wash-blue denim Renn Faire bodice. With hoop skirt wire in front edges (to contain that which was in obvious need of containment), with grommets and heavy cord for lacing. Add cotton shift, washed-out stripe skirt and straw hat. Yeah, Mother Goose. An extremely tall Mother Goose. Bodice (simple princess-style after Italian design) caused resentment (women), interest of an obvious nature (men) by turns. Retired costume.
Black turtleneck tops/jeans. Done that. Works. Best when one has attitude, minimal cowl neckline and blessed with a curvy tush! (Jeans Always Look Best on Naturally Curvy Women, hence ever increasing demand for derriere enhancement surgery.) For dress: Black Velvet jeans, slightly loose stretch satin black tees, chunky silver metal cuffs-earrings and low-heeled dark metallic sandals/ballet flats.and/or leather boots. Simple look (plus attitude) that a woman wears, not the reverse.
Hung-up on sizes-measurments? Don’t be. Comfort = personal confidence = personal style = imitation by other women who admire your fashion choices-look.
Dresses? Aside from corporate wear, inappropriate for painting rooms, refinishing furniture, cleaning windows, cooking, doing laundry, writing, sewing, enbellishing upcycled finds and painting-covering shoes. Touch football in a dress? Bwahahahahaha!
I recently spent days fitting a cropped, 3/4 sleeve jacket for myself, and made it in a hideous beige linen. Gawd! It’s awful!
I made a pair of pants that were so I’ll fitting you’d think I didn’t measure myself first. I’m not sure why I even bothered since I rarely wear pants that aren’t jeans.
I don’t have much experience sewing with knits, but I found a pattern for a dress that required a knit fabric. I found a floral knit and made the dress, only to try the finished dress on and realized I hated it! I’m not a stick thin model by any means and some of those dresses just aren’t meant for curvy women! I ended up buying a ready-made dress for the wedding. Oh well.
I have a skirt with about a thousand tiers that would just be way too much work to sew up! I would love to do more sewing for myself.
a pencil-skirt, I love the idea of many colorful pencil-skirt to go with all the vintage blouses I’d like to have, but a pencil-skirt isn’t really flattering on my shape and I become very aware of myself in a bad way when I’m wearing it. So I have started planing a series of pleated skirts, something that I have always loved to wear instead to go with my blouses. I am a dress person and wear dresses almost everyday, but some times I like to look more professional with a nice skirt, silk blouse, black tights and a crisp cardigan or “blazer”.
Maybe you feel uncomfortable in a dress because you feel as if you shouldn’t wear it. Or you don’t deserve to wear something so feminine I think you wouldn’t keep sewing dresses if you didn’t really want to wear them, on some level.
I haven’t been sewing that long, but I do knit. My nemesis are pullovers. Most RTW sweaters were cardigans. I once made a cotton pullover that had little stretch. It fit over my head, but was heavy and difficult to move comfortably in. Lesson learned… pay attention to fiber content and fit. Look at what you already own to see what you like before you invest the time. It is easy to experiment on purchased items, but something you have made and spent lots of hours on is hard to handle. :-/
Renaissance gown in forest green canvas. Need I say more?
When I was first starting to sew, I bought the most simple looking pattern I could find. I used some pink fabric I had laying around to make the dress. Sleeveless, no stretch, and I don’t like pink. WHYYYY??
I love love retro clothing, and do make alot of my own outfits, the ones I have tried to make that just do not work, are the sheath dresses. Wiggles work, I got the curves and I am not afraid to show them off, but a sheath dress just makes me feel HUGE!!! I look at it and it pulls over the hips too much and I have to refit the bust so much that the dress does not look right at all!
Spaghetti strap tops are my downfall, they look so carefree and summery. I’ve made them, I’ve bought them. And every time I forget that there isn’t a bra in the world that can hold up my front without industrial-strength elastic inch-wide scaffolding!
Ha.. I just spent the last few days weeding through 40 or so unfinished garments. I found a dozen which I think I can eventually finished, but gave up and threw out some which no matter how much I tinkered with, weren’t ever going to work for my body. Those were mainly Vogue and Project Runway patterns – I feel so much happier for dealing with that project and making it possible to move forward with things that will work!
I have the opposite problem. I buy pants. I want to like skinny pants. Most modern tops only look good with them. But I forget that a) I pretty much never wear pants, even on weekends, only dresses, skirts, or occasionally shorts and b) this is because I hate having things tight against my legs. What am I thinking? This dress, on the other hand, I would wear in a hot minute, lol.
Peasant blouse, how I loved it in the picture. So boho and carefree looking. On me, it was a lovely cross of maternity meets grandma’s house dress. I think I’m doing it again. I’ve got the Washi dress and Cinema dress on my mind and can’t let it go. Pretty sure I’ll look pregnant in either one, but I still like them for some unknown reason!
Don’t count me, I am offshore, but this did make me smile! I don’t do this with clothes but shoes!! Oh me oh my! I have bought and given away so many shoes. I literally wear the same shoes every day until they fall apart then replace them with a similar pair. Flat slip ons. If I have to buckle or tie something I never grab them. Yet I buy them, and having huge feet they are always expensive. Crazy.
The first dress I ever made was a total let down. It was a simple tweed sheath dress. Sure it was classic and the fit was alright, but I felt like a school marm in it. I was convinced it aged me considerably and thought it was not flatering on me at all. I was totally sucked-in by my fashion aspirations and did not consider the wearability factor. While I love all the “professional” type fashions out there (pussy bow blouses, wide legged trousers, pencil skirts and sheaths), I always feel way too grown-up to wear them. It’s simple: its just not me. Now I try (and “try” is the key word here) to think about the way i’ll style the garment, how i’ll feel in it, etc. This helps me make better sewing decisions.
i buy those gorgeous vintage reproduction patterns with plans of making them and wearing them to…where? not sure. it’s not like i have fabulous parties to attend on a regular basis. but i do love looking at them in my pattern collection…
I once made a two layer cutesy wrap dress, intended for swing dancing. The two layers were so annoying to work with and the end result too cutesy to feel good on, thankfully a good friend loved it and it fit her perfectly, time saved.
I have bought several patterns in the fit-and-flare style. I am not an hourglass figure and have never, even 20 years and 50 pounds ago been an hourglass, so why do I think this style is suddenly going to work on my rectangular waist-less figure? It looks so cute on everyone else… However, I can and do wear the empire style quite well, so I have to remember to stick with that.
For me it’s always the skirts/dresses that look so amazing in the store and then I get home, realize I have pasty legs and grab the jeans. Someday, I’ll get over my leg issues, maybe with this awesome Myrtle pattern! 🙂
Shoes. For sure. A few dresses that I loved, but in reality were just too short to be wearable. I’m pretty sure at least one of every type of clothing has been bought and not worn before.