The Curvy Opinions series is about sharing personal experiences and providing honest individual perspectives. The posts will sometimes be controversial and not everyone will agree with them, but they will always be positive! We would love to know what you think in the comments.
I am a curvy gal. I was raised in an atmosphere where I felt good about myself and my body. Of course there were those kids growing up who teased me about my weight and came up with inventive nicknames for me. And there is always the internet meanie who hides behind an avatar and makes rude remarks. But these slights have never stopped me from becoming a confident woman who wears and does what she pleases and could care less about societal norms in our Western slim obsessed society. I have never hidden behind dark loose-fitting clothing nor have I stood with my back against the wall while others have stood in the spotlight. And although I am an introvert at heart, I don’t dress like it.
Little Me
I have always been a big girl. I’ve been tall and chunky since I was a pre-schooler. I abhor the labels we use to describe our physiques and yet I use them. The one I generally prefer is “curvy”, but I often use “plus size” as it gets my point across. The ones I don’t like to use are “fat” and “chubby”. I also don’t like “chunky”, but hey, I just used it in a previous sentence. I really don’t have much of a choice at being a bigger individual. My ethnic makeup includes strapping Polynesian, stout German and sturdy Scottish ancestry. There is not a male in my family under six foot and my Nova Scotian great-grandmother was the spitting image of Chummy from Call the Midwife. There was pretty much no escaping the fact that I would be a big girl. At 5’8 I’m at the lower end of the “tall girl” spectrum, but I generally seem to tower over most women.
My great grandma fishing in New Hampshire
Of course I could be thinner. But does that mean that I’d be healthier? Other than my degenerative eye disease which has nothing to do with my health or lifestyle, I am a healthy individual. I have no health problems. I’ve never broken a bone. I’ve never had an overnight stay in the hospital. I’ve never undergone surgery. I don’t take any prescription medications. I hike, bike, and walk. I have a very healthy diet of fruits and veggies and meals made from scratch with unprocessed foods. I’m bigger than most people and yet I often have more stamina than my thinner counterparts. I learned long ago that although I carry extra weight, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m unhealthy. If I ever dropped down below a 14, I think I’d look pretty sickly with my frame and stature.
Cowgirl me (BTW, the outfit on the lower right is entirely made by me)
I was not always overtly fashionable. I used to dress with the crowd. I mostly wore boots and jeans in my cowgirl uniform as I spent most of my time around horses and cows. When I was in undergrad I decided to start wearing dresses and skirts and change it up a bit. Not only was I more comfortable wearing a dress, but I looked better and received compliments. I don’t remember hearing too many compliments when I ran with the herd in jeans. I fell in love with espadrilles and added heels to my repertoire. Yes, I had become a girlie girl!
Evolving into a “girlie” girl (photo on the right is from my wedding day in my entirely me-made ensemble)
Now I dress autonomously. My passion for sewing has opened a world of possibilities that are rarely available in the RTW market. I am no longer limited to what stores like Macy’s or Lane Bryant want to offer me. I don’t have to go around in dresses that are too big in the bust or pants that are too big in the waist because my hips are wider than the RTW ideal. I can make clothes that fit ME. I can create whatever suits my fancy – be it retro inspired or with a quirky novelty print. I can wear clothing that reflects my interests and my heritage. I can copy that high end designer make. I can reproduce that vintage dress. The wardrobe possibilities are endless and the more I sew, the more I want to sew!
1954 Vintage Vogue 2960 and Simplicity 1950’s Vintage 1459
I’m a big girl with big hair. When I wear heels, I’m even bigger. Most of the women I see out and about are 5’6 or under, so I tower over them anyway. I stand out due to my body frame, so why not dress it up even more? I’ve found what silhouettes work for me and I know what suits me. Where I live in California everyone dresses ultra casual. I’m lost in a sea of jeans, yoga pants and short shorts and they all pretty much dress the same. 90% of the time I am the only person wearing anything remotely “dressy”, although in past decades my dress would be considered “casual.” Maybe I’m lost in a past decade, or maybe I’m just trying to dress up the here and now and stand apart in a world of monotony.
Vogue Tracy Reese 1086, 1946 Retro Butterick 5281, Simplicity Project Runway 1610
My point is that be it by genetics or lifestyle – I’m a curvy woman. I’m going to look different with my height or my shape or my wild curly hair, so why not capitalize on that? I used to be a bit apprehensive about wearing big skirts, bright colors or kitschy prints – but now I just don’t care. I want to wear clothes that make me happy. I’d rather be the unique individual that I am and feel good about myself. I want my clothing to put a smile on my face. If people want to stop and stare because I don’t “fit in” – oh well. I can look in a mirror and know what flatters me and know that at least in my mind’s eye that I look good. My confidence in myself has broadened with every positive remark and by hearing: “I love your dress!” from strangers. I even started stepping it up a notch recently when I began wearing my scleral lenses and I could finally SEE the world around me. It was a bit of a shock to see my face without a “filter”, but I’ve learned to embrace myself and love the person that I am. So here’s to more colors and prints and big dresses and a sewing list that is never-ending. I’m looking forward to embracing more novelty prints and sewing whatever suits my fancy. I was born to stand out and now I’m going to dress like it.
1957 Vintage Vogue 8789 and 1940 Vintage Vogue 8812 [photos: Photography by Ken]
P.S. Even if you don’t have a blog, I recommend taking full-length photos of yourself in your handmade garments. Whilst looking back on my computer for photos for this post I noticed the absence of full-length photos of myself. I was hard pressed to find ones without other people in them. By photographing myself I’ve gained a lot of self confidence, seen what styles work for me and learned what to avoid. It’s also great to have a photographic archive of clothing that you’ve sewn.
FYI: I do wear my me-made dresses out and about! Not just for “photo shoots”. (clockwise: Sewaholic Cambie, Colette Hazel, Vintage Vogue 8812, Colette Myrtle, Vogue 1086, Colette Eclair)
Wow, it’s taken me a year to come across this post. Happy to read it and it is all so familiar! Keep up the good work, your sewing is inspirational!
Thank you for this inspiration! In the Netherlands (where I live) one always says, “stay normal you are crazy enough”. And despite that I disagree, I feel a bit obliged to dress like the rest which is difficult with my size.
After reading your post, I have to rethink and dress like I wish. I think I shocks pack my nerves, take my sewing machine and sew, sew, sew.
As always, you are a star!!!! I didn’t realize you are so tall – impossible to tell in photos. i’m just under 5’6 so pretty average, but I always say that’s the only average thing about me! I love wearing dresses and looking feminine in a world of trousers, jeans and dull colours. xxxx love the cute photos!
Thanks, Poppy! I guess people are surprised when they meet me in person as I’m taller than I guess I appear!
I’m so glad I found this place! I always say that I am built like a German Farm Girl. I’m 5’9″ sz 22 pants, 42G bra, sz 11 shoe. I can almost NEVER go into a regular store and walk out with something nice to wear. It’s so heartbreaking. I’m actually a size 10.5 shoe, but most manufacturers stop half sizes after 10 – so it’s all special order or I just walk out with sz 11 shoes. I am just learning to sew, and want to make beautiful clothes that FIT me. I think this group of beautiful, proud gals is just what I needed. Much love to you all! OH…for fun…here is a picture of me on the beach nearly 10 months pregnant (4 years ago) – I was too. much. person. Try finding professional plus size maternity clothing – OMG….trying to put pantyhose on was pretty much an Olympic venture. http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=1LhMuIYoALy%2Fs9vLxXu4H4h4l5k2TGxc#.U_wHIPmwIkU
We’re glad that you’re hear, Jeanine! I also wear a 10.5 shoe! So hard to find our size!
Yeah, that’s why I usually say 11 and save the explanation. But most of the time 11 is just too big. I mean, I’m glad I can order online if I need to, there are more options, but who doesn’t want to be able to try on shoes first and avoid the return shipping hassle?
On the sewing issue, I always thought I would try a wrap dress or top (preferably a long top) as it’s flattering for my shape, as long as the back has some structure to it and not just a broad expanse of floppy knit – I find that usually destroys most RTW wrap tops I would otherwise have bought. Do you have any suggestions for patterns for a beginner sewer like myself?
Again, thank you for sharing! I am so glad to have found this place!
The 11 seems to have a gap in the heel a lot with more fitted shoes, so I usually have to put heel inserts in. I rarely ever find a 10 1/2 in the store! I’m usually ordering off of Amazon! Wrap dresses and shirts have not been a hit for me, but Jenny is going to do a “wrap along” and she’ll be recommending some wrap patterns. There are a few Simplicity wrap dresses that I’ve seen good reviews for. The Simplicity Amazing Fit patterns have good instructions and have different bust sizes.
I definitely understand what it is like to stand out physically. I’m 5’10,”a marked hourglass, and my sizes have ranged from the middle to the upper end of the Misses range. Even when I was thin for my frame, I was quite obviously larger than the typical woman, just because of the tallness and bustiness and the strong lines to the shoulders and hips that come along with my frame. As well, I have unusually vivid coloring and am generally considered attractive. I had to get used to people looking at me, no matter what I wore. I did go through phases when the attention generated anxiety, and I would wear baggy jeans and sweaters to “disappear.” But that didn’t actually work, and dressing that way made me feel depressed. Now, I do wear the things I like, even if they are not the norm for my very dressed-down area. But, I still find myself weighing how much attention I will likely get as a cost of wearing a particular garment, no matter how much I love it. My clothes are rarely revealing, but more feminine and old-fashioned than what tends to be worn in my area. So, in this weather, retro sundresses in bright colors with low-heeled sandals perhaps. But because I’m wearing something other than a tank with black yoga pants, or skinny jeans and a tee, it draws attention. My body type also draws attention. It’s quite easy for me to get faintly self-conscious, though I’m usually willing to pay that price to wear the clothes I love.
I very much get what you’re saying, Scarlet! At least our clothing makes ourselves happy! 🙂
Hi,
You are so attractive (your legs are banging’) (is that appropriate to say, sorry if not) and your attitude seems to be the key.
I must learn to and start to sew – all you lovely, inspiring women seem not only rejoicing in your bodies but at peace with the internal war.
When a pattern is titled vintage, does that mean that it is no longer in print (I covet 1954 Vintage Vogue 2960 and Simplicity 1950′s Vintage 1459), and if it is how does one find them? Is it simply a matter of trawling ebay, or do sewing patterns at some point fall out of copyright?
Is there a place where vintage patterns are published under commons?
All questions I should look to answer myself! Thanks for the happy inspiration today and know that I would steal all your dresses if I could!
Cheers S
Thank you!! The patterns I’m using in the above photos are vintage reissues and the pattern lines are named “Vintage Vogue”, “Retro Butterick”, “Simplicity 1950’s Vintage”. You can buy all of those patterns from BMV and Simplicity or at retailers as all of those are still in print. Real vintage patterns — i find mine on etsy and ebay and in antique and thrift stores. I do think there is a website that you can “borrow” a vintage pattern and trace and sew it. I can’t remember the name. Plus size vintage patterns can be quite pricey though as I don’t think they made as many of them — or at least they aren’t for sale! I have found a few in my size though on etsy. 🙂
This is a great post Tanya! I can relate to so much of what you have written.
Here in Indy, a girl in a dress stands out like a sore thumb, but you know what…I am getting used to it. It seems older gentlemen especially like seeing women dressed like women, and are quick to offer a compliment. I used to blush when they would throw out a compliment, but now I give em a wink and throw in some wiggle as I walk away. Ah the evolution of confidence!
P.S. I covet your vintage Vogue red white and blue dress.
Thank you! I tend to think that anywhere in the US unless it’s a big urban area like NYC or SF — that anyone dressed nicely in a pretty dress stands out as that’s not the American norm. Older gentleman (and women) do seem to like it. I wish more people would covet the art of dressing up! 🙂
The patriotic seersucker is one of my faves, too. It’s on high rotation this summer. 🙂
Love the bio! It was nice reading about your experiences. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Sabrina! 🙂
When reading posts like this, I feel like some sort of magic is happening.
Growing up, I was always taught NOT to stand out and focus on covering figure flaws – no large print, no bright colors, nothing that catches attention. Throughout my adult years, I have always worn somewhat baggy clothes in preferably dark blue, gray or black. I am 5’8″ also and I measure 42-37.5-46. The smallest I have ever been was size 6 US, and I still saw a big girl in the mirror and shopped for loose fitting clothes in a size or two larger so you couldn’t really see my figure inside. I am 42 now and I need to change, I want to stop hiding. Although knowing that doesn’t bring the change with it, it is hard work. I used to sew a lot in my teens and twenties, and I just started sewing again. However, I mostly sew for my daughter and my mom.
I just wanted to tell you that this site is my happy place these days. 🙂 Your posts on body image and confidence are so amazing, they help so much! I admire your talent and your confidence!
If you listen to the “rules”, they pretty much tell you to hide yourself and not stand out. I think it’s awesome that there are more of us curvy girls going against “taboos” and looking good doing it!!
Thanks for sharing this, it’s great inspiration. I really love your choices of colors and patterns.
Another tall (5’10”) curvy lady here, who mostly wears skirts and dresses. I work in an office where the dress code is business casual, emphasis on the casual, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked “Why do you always dress up?” I didn’t think a denim skirt and knit top was all the dressed up, but there you go.
Thanks, Suzy! Yes, I did not know a cotton sundress was “dressing up”, either!!! 🙂
Since there seems to be so many tall curvy girls posting away on here, can I ask where you buy your tights? I cannot seem to find a pair that a) doesn’t involve the crotch sitting at my knees or b) lasts more than one wearing from rubbing at the thighs. If you have any stocking secrets, please share! 🙂
My favorite tights are asset by Sarah Blakely. They are a little pricy (about $20 a pair), but they fit wonderfully and last forever!! You can even wash and dry them. They are the best I’ve found.
What a great post! So well written and very inspirational, it’s set me right up for the weekend! The red/white/blue seersucker dress is my favourite too, love it! x
Thank you, Jane!! Yep, that’s one of my faves, too! Guess that’s why it’s my avatar pic! 🙂
This is just more proof of how awesome you are. I loved reading this and was saying “HELL YES!” in my had the entire time. You are a true inspiration and a killer seamstress to boot. Way to go!
Awe, thanks, Rox! You always make a girl feel good! 🙂
I really enjoyed reading this and learning more about you. I don’t have your glorious hair and coloring, but my hair is very unruly (I once had a woman tell me she could tell I wasn’t ‘Type A’ just because of my hair!!). I am also 5’8″ and my daughter is just under 5’10”. She used to be self-conscious about her height, but I have always encouraged her (as my mom did me) to go ahead and own it, and thankfully she has. Sewing helps us to have clothes that fit our bodies as well as our imaginations. We have vision issues here as well; I am glad your new contacts are helping.
Thank you, Angela! I used to do a lot of slouching as a kid as I was taller than everyone and it made me self-conscious as well. My grandma always told me to “stand up straight”, so I try to remember that quite often!! It’s also funny how people like my hair as it’s a big pain to deal with. I would much rather have straight hair that i can just brush it and go. But I guess we always want what we can’t have!
I love all of this post! All of it! So inspiring and just so honest. I love it!
Thank you, Kendra! 🙂
What a great, positive post! You are a true amazon and gorgeous to boot.
This might sound strange, but as a horsewoman, you might understand: so often, people seem to believe that human beings should only come in one shape and size and color, despite AMPLE proof to the contrary. And that if an individual doesn’t match the “standard human conformation”, which really means tall but not too tall and acceptably thin, there’s no way they (really: she) can be considered beautiful or even attractive. But I’ve always thought of humans as being exactly the same as horses, or other animals in which different breeds exist. Is a Clydesdale fat? No. It’s just a giant that can haul tons of stuff piled into a wagon. It’s no less beautiful in its way than a Thoroughbred. Some people are Thoroughbreds, some Mustangs, some Clydesdales, and some Arabians. They’re all horses, they’re all beautiful, and they’re all designed for a specific type of activity or life. No one breed is inherently “better” or more valuable than the other, although they may be valued for different reasons. (I consider myself a Shetland pony.)
Thinking about people this way has really helped me distance myself from unhealthy comparisons between my shape/size/height/appearance and that of others. And it has really helped cement my self confidence and my belief that I have the right to exist just as I am, lumps and belly rolls and all.
Some might find it difficult to think of people as just another kind of animal–but when you get right down to it, that’s all we are.
Thank you, Stephani! I totally agree with you!!! As a former anthropologist, I’ve studied different types of people (hard to call us “breeds”) and I definitely see differences in stature within family lines. We as humans don’t like to think of ourselves as animals, although we are!
Great post and I got stupidly excited as I have a dress made from the Dr who fabric u’ve used in the last picture. I was surprised to see it as I had upcycled a duvet I found in a charity shop to make mine. I’d be interested to know where you found yours.
Thank you! I’m pretty sure I remember your Doctor Who dress from The Monthly Stitch! As you know, that fabric is hard to find. I had to finagle it out of an etsy seller in the UK who was making custom dresses out of it. She says that can’t even find it anymore.
Yep, it was in the monthly stitch. You look fab in all of your outfits. Love your style.
Thank you for your inspiring post! I am curvy and SHORT (5’4″ barely!) and am still trying to get comfortable in my skin at 42…it is a work in progress, but sewing for myself has helped me immensely. It is amazing how much better I feel in clothing that really fits me and accentuates my postives!
Thank you! Sewing does really help, doesn’t it? You can avoid the “muffin top” and have clothing that hits you in the right places. It sure is amazing what a good fit can do for your self image. 🙂
I sewed up a maxi-skirt this summer and I noticed how dressed up this made me feel. A maxi-skirt is about the most casual garment to be in too. Amidst the sea of jeans and khaki shorts, maxi-skirts/dresses stand out as dressed up and special.
I loved ‘Call The Midwife’.
It’s so great to find clothing that looks awesome and dressy, but feels like pajamas! Maxi skirts are great because you do just about anything in them and don’t have to worry about your skirt flying up or bending over and showing off your goods.
Tanya, You look marvelous & I love your attitude. Thank you for sharing as I need to get out of my clothing rut of jeans and t-shirts. Your post was just the thing to get me going. Keep rockin’ your personal look because it’s beautiful!
Thanks, Vicki!! I found that dresses just make me feel super awesome with generally no restrictions and knit dresses (which are relatively new to me) just feel like wearing pajamas all day long! Good luck with your wardrobe building! It seems to take so long when you sew it! I know mine doesn’t yet feel like its complete yet.
What a great post! Isn’t it funny how one of the biggest challenges in presentation can be not shielding our faces with glasses? I love my own, and of all the things I can criticize in pictures of myself it’s a lack of glasses that will make me wince the most. Hearing all the ways sewing, and documenting your sewing adventures have made you see yourself and the world clearer as well is an inspiration.
Thank you, Laura! Yes, when I first looked in the mirror with my new lenses at my doctor’s office I was like — ew! Haha! It’s so easy to hide behind the glasses. I did love my glasses, but I love being able to see everything clearly even more. 🙂
I think it’s really amazing that something has been developed that is protective and helps you see clearly. I’m sure you marvel daily at the details you’ve discovered. SCIENCE!
What a wonderful story and I do love your dresses … they’re all gorgeous on you. The effect of getting all this positivity out into the curvy world is a really fantastic thing. Keep sewing and wearing what you love. T x
Thank you, T! I was a bit apprehensive about this post, but see that it’s a positive thing and that’s what’s so great about this community that we’ve created — positivity and acceptance. 🙂
I’m a big fan of you, Tanya, and this blog entry. Makes me happy. Also, a Canadian connection! 😀 Canadian happy dance! 🙂
I love the vintage vogue photoshoots. 🙂 You are a gorgeous curvy girl and you make me happy every time I read your blog. I’m so glad you found your style and are sharing it with the curvy collective.
I’m a fan of you, as well, Andie! 🙂 Yes! We have a Canadian connection! My great grandma’s side settled in Nova Scotia from Scotland in the 1700’s. There are still many of her kin living all over Canada. 🙂
Thank you! I loved doing that pin up shoot. I may do it again someday. 🙂
Thank you for your post. There were so many lines that rang true for me. The more I sew the more I want to sew, taking photos of yourself in your makes, dressing autonomously. BTW I love the picture of your great grandmother – like a boss!
Thanks, Janet! I just wish there was more time to sew or that I had magic fairies cutting out my fabric for me! My great grandma was indeed a bad ass. She was mountain climbing, deep sea fishing and gardening into her 90’s! 🙂
Really enjoyed reading your post. You look particularly great in that plain green dress, and I must admit I noticed the dresses before I noticed anything about you, and you look a lot smaller to me than you describe yourself! Us women are rarely kind to ourselves, are we?
Thanks, Linda! That green wool crepe dress is a particular favorite of mine. I can’t wait until it’s cold enough again to wear it. Ha ha! Looking smaller! It sure doesn’t seem that way whilst shopping for clothes and trying to find my size!
You look stunning in your red/white/blue 1954 vintage vogue 2960 dress! I’ve just had a baby and my body has definitely changed and I love reading this blog as it is helping me to embrace the “new me”
I wear that red/white/blue seersucker dress a lot in the summer! It’s one of my faves. I’m glad that our site is helping you see yourself in a positive way. It’s great to have this place where we can share our thoughts and stories and inspire others. 🙂
I got so much from your article! I need to work at making more confident clothes choices. I definitely have the ‘cover up in dark colours’ mindset I think for many reasons (one of which is I am decidedly top heavy). I realised recently that to try to make my body into anything else would be fighting genetics (after recent visits to my mum and grandmother), no matter the prevailing body shape ideal I am never going to have it….you look beautiful in your colourful dresses and I found your attitude refreshing and inspiring! Thank you!
Thank you, Philippa! It’s difficult to feel good about yourself when you look at the media and how women are portrayed. Not everyone can be slim. But it takes some time to feel good about yourself and love the person that you are and feel good. I think clothing really helps that. I do like dark colors though — but animal hair and dark clothing don’t mix! lol 🙂
Fabulous!!!!! You girls have certainly inspired me away from the shapeless! Am at this very moment attaching the skirt to my latest Moneta, a full on, 50’s influence, hot pink floral! Sadly, it feels like our English summer is all but over so I’m not sure I’ll get to wear it any time soon but I do have ‘fall’ fabrics ready to go…….
Woohoo! That dress sounds fabulous! I do hope you share it with us. You could always wear it with leggings/tights and a cardi when it gets cold. That’s what I’m planning to do with my Monetas come fall. 🙂
I love this post – Tanya, you are an inspiration!
Thank you, Mel! 🙂
Inspirational!
Thanks, Nancy! 🙂
Nice to read you and about all your experience. I follow this blog every day and it gives me more trust in myself. I hope to re brush my English very soon. Thanks a lot.
Thank you, Brig! I love reading the amazing and inspirational content we have here. It certainly helps with your self image to be surrounded by positive people. 🙂
OMG! You are amazing.
I can relate to the struggle you have had with standing out in a sea of casual lookalikes. I live and work in the country, and have had a really tough time getting out of the jeans/boots/tshirt vibe. Doing your own thing in such a conservative region is really hard, even with small things such as just wearing a dress instead of pants, heels instead of practical boots.
I love your blog and you’re a real inspiration. Xx
Thank you!! You’re very right about that, although it’s a bit better where I live. Over the summer in the midwest, people sure liked to stare at me as I didn’t fit in. It’s crazy, since just a few decades ago all the women folk would’ve been sporting their skirts and dresses and no one would have batted an eyelash! I do wear my jeans and boots when I have to as you wouldn’t want to go out in the pasture in skirts and heels…but it is nice to dress comfortably in dresses as often as I can. 🙂