The Curvy Opinions series is about sharing personal experiences and providing honest individual perspectives. The posts will sometimes be controversial and not everyone will agree with them, but they will always be positive! We would love to know what you think in the comments.
I was confused.
For much of my early sewing career, I was scared of one thing after another: zips, buttonholes, interfacing, stretchy fabric…. sergers. To be fair, I’m still scared of things, but a different group: trousers, boning, bras (could it be done?!).
What I couldn’t have predicted is how much I’ve learned from sewing. This sounds mushy, but I live in America now, the land of sentimentality, so please forgive me.
There’s something in there about perspective as well. You spend so long looking at the thing you’re making and you obsess about all the mistakes, and every time you wear it you just see those wonky seams or that fabric cut that you hastily patched. But you know what? No-one ever notices. No-one. At all. (Unless you point it out to them – note to self, try not to do that any more). No-one sees your flaws like you do.
It also teaches you that to learn something or get better at something you just have to give it a go. This seems obvious and simple, but this was a big lesson for me. I always thought “well I can’t put a zip in, because I’ve never done it before!”. It took me A Long Time to realise that the only way to learn to do it, is to try it for the first time. This was what finally convinced me to make my winter coat – and after all that procrastination, it turned out well. So. Perhaps when I’m not sure about things I need to just try and see what happens.
What else? It’s given me a much better appreciation not just of clothes but all sorts of craftsmanship. I tend to live my life in a bit of a whirlwind, but I find myself noticing fine handiwork all over the place now.
Finally, and perhaps most significantly, is the whole body issue. Like most (OK, virtually all) women, I’ve struggled my whole life with the size, shape and weight of my body. The biggest single difference has been adopting Intuitive Eating with my amazing nutritionist over the past year. But after that, it’s sewing. You know when you look in the mirror and think “ugh, I look terrible”? 90% of the time that’s your clothes. They’re too tight, things are bulging, or maybe they’re too loose and boxy. Once you can make clothes to fit, you learn that anyone can look good; no-one needs to bulge. Learning that any clothes can be made in any size is also revelatory. I have a coat I can breathe in now, tops that don’t show my bra and pencil skirts that skim my stomach. This is perhaps the most liberating thing – I judged my body for not fitting store-bought clothes, and felt terrible much of the time when it came to dressing myself. Now my clothes fit me, suit me, and feel good – and it’s such a relief. To have routinely positive thoughts about what I look like – this skirt looks amazing! – is fantastic. To be regularly taking photos of myself and putting them online and not hiding behind my hands – that’s serious progress, folks.
Katy recently referred to that feeling of “I CAN SEW ANYTHING!” that’s so satisfying. Sure, it comes in waves, but I’m there now, and it’s a nice place to be.
This post was first featured on Cashmerette.
So true about poorly fitted clothing making you feel like you look horrible. My weight slowly fluctuates up and down and I realized a few years ago that when I’m on a downward trend I first feel like I’m gaining weight. I’m just so sure of it even if the scale says otherwise! But then I figured out it’s because my clothing is baggy making me look larger (at least to my eyes) when I look in the mirror.
I like this article.This is a great post. Thanks admin……
Great post! Sewing has also allowed me to look at myself in a new positive light because I could make the clothes I wanted to wear and not be disappointed that I couldn’t fit into them in the stores. As for bra making- you must do it! It is the single best thing I have done in my whole life in terms of body confidence. I took a class at Bra Makers Supply in Hamilton Ontario, but the owner is running a Craftsy course so it is possible to learn remotely. Whearing a bra you made yourself that fits is liberating. I have made 5 bras since I took the class in July.
Bra making is absolutely the best, although I have made one in a while. I’m trying to decide on a pattern or to dive into drafting my own. What is that teachers name on craftsy.
The instructor is Beverly Johnson. I’m not sure if the class is live yet, but here’s a link:
http://www.craftsy.com/lp/BeverlyJohnson_Giveaway?ext=BeverlyJohnson_Giveaway&utm_source=Beverly%20Johnson&utm_medium=Instructor&utm_campaign=General-Registrations
What a beautiful post! Thanks so much
Very wise, very inspiring! For decades I have been saying – it’s not your job to make clothes look good, it’s THEIR job to make YOU look good! This stunning bit of logic does not seem to occur to most women, since we are exposed to so much ‘fashion’ media where the wearers look amazing in clothes that are really just tat, but of course the models are chosen to show the tat off as well as it could be.
Makes my brain hurt!
Your post was aspirin to my brain! 🙂
“bras (could it be done?!).” yes, yes they can and they are not scary at all, but I will warn you that they start their very own notions and fabric stash.
And “shonkily”, learned a new word, thank you! I was this woman too, a few years ago in my sewing.
That black and white dress is just stunning! I would like to attempt it – would you be willing to share the pattern? And yes, YOU are stunning too!
Hi Ann, thanks! It’s the Christine Jonson wrap dress, and we’re going to be starting a sewalong for it very soon!
Jenny
I love this post! I’ve been thinking about the lessons that sewing is teaching me…as a beginner to garment sewing, I am learning patience first! And courage. I’ve done shift dresses and elastic-waist shorts. I am screwing up my courage to make a wrap dress next…with sleeves! 🙂
Hey gal, drafting and woodworking go hand in hand with sewing. Especially that drafting stuff – when you’re going down the resizing/redrafting …..redesigning! road. And ‘measure twice, cut once’ ?
Oh you know! Your brain is twice as nice for the making you’ve done.
I just wish there was something like a drill press in sewing. I’m working on it.
I just found your site, how wonderful! I too have discovered the joy of taking my time sewing and watching with amazement the clothes that actually fit my body type. I used to own a fabric store and the byline that I chose was, ” The difference between handmade and homemade it the fit.” I’ve got to say that wrap dress looks awesome on you, would you share what pattern it is? Thank you for reminding me that Plus size can be beautiful too!
Thanks Debbie! The pattern is Christine Jonson, and we’ll be starting a sewalong for the pattern very soon!
I love this post. Thank you 🙂 Although, I question where you’re living in America if you think we’re sentimental. Its okay though, I like the idea 🙂
Ha ha Chris, well if you compare the US to the north of Scotland where I grew up, you’ll find that you guys are *extremely* sentimental 🙂
Yep, Americans gush about things (it’s great! best I ever had!! can’t wait to go back!!!) Brits tend to downplay emotions in comparison. My partner (originally from Norfolk, with a Scottish mom) told a story last weekend about a business meeting he attended with some Brits and some Americans. One of the Brits said something casual during the meeting about being “a bit disappointed” in some aspect of the project. The Americans were excited afterwards about how well the meeting had gone, but my partner knew the project was toast–and he was right.
You are so right about the difference in reactions. I love watching both British and American versions of Antiques Roadshow, and that’s one thing I noticed was the reactions of the appraisals. American’s are either crushed when their “valuable antique family heirloom from 10 generations ago” turns out to be a new reproduction given to grandmother 20 years ago. Or over the top gushing if it turns out to be worth more than a cup of coffee. The British are usually so reserved – “that’s a bit of a disappointment” on something not what they were told it was, or a calm “Really? Oh my.” when the item is worth tens of thousands of pounds and it’s been sitting in the closet for years.