Whoever woulda thunk it? Sewing, the simple act of putting a needle and thread through some fabric has led to a robust change in attitude on my part, to myself, my body, my skills and my responsibility to society. It’s not an exaggeration to say that taking up sewing has been an eye opening revelation!
I entered the competition to win the Mabel pattern from Colette, and the simple act of trying to write down my newly forming thoughts on sewing brought on a rush of emotion. Until I put pen to paper (or rather finger to keyboard) I don’t think I realised what a profound effect sewing was having on me. I realised I was rapidly becoming absolutely obsessed with it, but I am not sure I had quite worked out why. Jenny asked me to expand my thoughts in this blog post, to try and explain the way sewing was making me re-evaluate my body, the fashion industry and my self-esteem. So here goes!
I started sewing about 6 months ago. My mum had bought me a snazzy new blue sewing machine from John Lewis for Christmas, and I was full of hope about the glorious creations I was going to make. I ordered some fabric and a simple pattern and felt ready to MAKE! And then I looked at the back of pattern and got out the tape measure. I nearly cried when I measured myself and saw I should cut out a UK size 28. I had put on weight, but I was not a size 28. I had always tried to stay at an 18 at the max, but had slipped over and out the other side of a size 20. But 28????? What did it mean? Was I much more enormous than I thought? Had I been deluding myself? Had I been wearing the wrong size clothes all my life? I felt horrified. Until I opened the pattern pieces out. Then suddenly, my horror disappeared. The distance between the sizes was so small that I laughed. I had spent so long attaching self esteem to numbers and, look! they meant absolutely nothing. The difference between sizes was a couple of cm. The numbers were just map markers, not symbols dripping with meaning about one’s value as a woman. And so I cut out my dress and realised it was tiny in the armpits and enormous round the knees and laughed again. It was all meaningless. Vanity sizing was absurd and impersonal. Shop bought clothes are made for abstract mannequins, not people. What was meaningful were the beautiful patterns and fabrics I could buy, the creativity and personality I could put into the things I made, the fact that I wasn’t engaging in a fashion trade that demeans women and employs child labour and oh, the buttons and bias binding! My 50 inch full chest is a thing to drape fabric on beautifully, to enhance, to think about practically and cleverly and not a just number to be ashamed of. I can sew any dress I like and make it fit me and my shape, rather than feel I need to change my shape to fit into something made for random beauty standards.
Sewing is an injection of childlike joy that takes away all those weird insecurities about your body and your skills that develop with adulthood! You just MAKE. Oh! I am so happy that I have started sewing.
BTW, thanks for the post Rosie, it was lovely in fact! 🙂 <3 <3 <3
What a lovely post! I love sewing because I can present myself how I want to rather than how the fashion stores and current trends dictate. I freaked out when I saw what size I needed to cut from patterns too, but you are so right, the difference between sizes is miniscule. Another consideration is that a group of RTW size 18s could be all different shapes, and by sewing our own, we can grade up and down and do adjustments for a custom fit. Very cool!
I started sewing because I was spending hundreds of dollars on crappy clothes that I wasn’t in love with because the plus-sized industry in Canada is horrible. Or I would spend hundreds more on clothes from the U.S. and the duty fees with the postal services. Just nuts. We have a lot of fabric stores in Toronto and I was ready to take advantage. Now I can not only have the perfect shaped pattern for my body, but also the perfect style and print for my unique self. It definitely makes me feel like there is nothing at all wrong with my body, but a lot wrong with the fashion industry and how they operate. I’m also grateful for the body positivity movement for upping my confidence even more and for site like this that promote a community of curvy ladies. 🙂 We all rock.
I’m going to go against the grain here and say that over the last year that I have been trying to sew for myself it has been mostly disappointment that the patterns just don’t fit…even though many of them should. I’ve found the process of trying to sew my own clothes only to have them be wrong in some way or another has made me feel worse about my body…not better. I got for simple patterns as I’m not interested in making a bazillion changes to make something fit and choose things that should be “my size”. I’m almost at the point of giving up – with the money I’ve spent on lessons, fabric, machines and patterns I could have bought a very nice RTW wardrobe – and flown to NYC to do it!
Have you tried the Colette Moneta, Melanie? All 7 of us in the CSC editor panel have made it and loved it, and we’re a range of sizes and shapes (covering hourglass, pear and apple). I noticed on your blog that you’ve tried the Coco – to be honest, I don’t think that’s very forgiving for many curvy shapes, especially in the dress version. The Moneta in contrast has a defined waist and the gentle gathers give a nice shape. Worth giving a go before you give up!
I do have the Moneta pattern but I guess I’m hesitating over the skirt gathering part of things…and attaching reinforcing elastic at the waist. So much can go wrong!
Hiya Melanie! I just noticed your comment as I was reading through old posts… DId you see my post yesterday about Project Mentors? If you are interested in having someone hold your hand through making the Moneta, I’m *sure* we can find someone! (Me, if no one else – I haven’t made Moneta, but knits are my jelly!)
Just come right on over here: http://wp1094.hostgator.com/~waezmq0ac6rs/forums/forum/project-mentoring/ and leave a post saying you’d like help! 🙂
What do you mean by “simple patterns”? Patterns with less seams seem easier but they’re MUCH harder to fit! E.g. the “Laurel” dress is simple to sew but very difficult to fit well, particularly on bigger bodies.
Have you tried any princess seam patterns like this one http://www.simplicitynewlook.com/6723/#.U9h6sOOSySo ?
Tworandomwords, thank you for the pattern recommendation and explanation. I, too, have difficulty picking out a pattern and fabric and liking how it turns out, so I really value the tried and true recommendations I get on CSC.
I guess I mean “simple”…like the April Rhodes Party Peplum Dress…or even Tessuti’s Pia Dress. I’m not really interested in complicated projects at this stage. I suppose after trying for over a year I’d just love something to FIT straight up.
I would second having a go with knits and the very flattering Moneta, just to give yourself a boost and try and get some joy back into your efforts. I felt like a genius when I made mine (wonky stripes and all), but all credit goes to the pattern. And don’t be so hard on your creations: I’m sure it’s only you who feels they are wrong: most people will just be massively impressed that you have made them yourself.
Hi girls,
I had a very similar problem as Melani is having.
The online sewing community is quite helpful in providing explanations on who to modify patterns to better fit your body.
I personally found it very helpful to take the plus size fitting class from craftsy with Barbara. As a plus size and professional plus size tailor, she is quite experienced in our type of body and she even gives tips on what kind of design fit your body best.
I totally recommend it.
It did change my life, from unhappy with the fit I was getting to thrilled with the challenges to make a garment that fits really well and makes me feel happy with myself.
Best,
Hi Melanie,
I second the motion of trying a knit, fitting a knit just is that bit easier and sometimes with sewing you need a ‘win’ or palate cleanser to give you the motivation to try again. I also wanted to suggest Lekala patterns, they are a Russian site which sends you PDF patterns which you can customise to your measurements, whilst not an end to fitting problems I think the jump off point of actually knowing something will be big enough to at least go round the curves without stressing about grading too much might be enough to keep your motivation going, they also have some patterns for knits.
A couple of provisos about lekala is that only some of the pattern’s instructions are written by an English native speaker, so you may need to sew with google or a garment construction guide at your elbow (who doesn’t do that anyway 😉 ) but patterns are cheap like $3-4 dollars and also single layer layouts aren’t uncommon, which is good for the fabric saving.
Mostly please don’t give up. Sewing is helping me to understand that measures are really just a way to make sure I have enough or not too much fabric to fit a particular part of me and I think everyone who has struggled with thier self image deserves to have that degree of separation from ‘size’ that the fashion and shopping industry insists on perpuating.
Everyone has a body, all through my years as a patternmaker to the fashion industry I’ve not understood why we could not just ‘get on’ and dress all the body sizes, and help women not be fixated on the ‘number’ associated with their size. (The answer was invariably ‘economy of scale’, it’s too hard’, ‘ there would be too many sku’s’, ‘not a big enough warehouse’, ‘costs too much’ etc).
Your post is lovely Rosie, a joy to read. I’m glad you have found your way to a sewing machine of your own and are now able to make happy clothes for yourself, that make you feel good too. 3 cheers for you for not conforming to the insecurities of fashion land that make you feel the ” need to change my shape to fit into something made for random beauty standards”.
You know, to trial and ‘fit’ garments prior to committing to production we have an in house ‘fit model’. For mainstream sizes she’s usually a size 10, maybe 12. To find that right size & shaped model (who is supposed to represent each label’s target customer & be their body shape), is exhausting, canvasing model agencies to find the right woman or girl, who is larger than a photo model (so they don’t have many on their books that size, & usually not as tall as a photo model either). Once a house finds that model, they never want to let her go, it will be too hard to find another the same!. I know a fit model who works for 6+ fashion houses. she is run of her feet attending fittings.
Anyway, the point is for commercial production you need to identify a standard shape, size, model and work from there, that’s how mass production works. You need a stake in the sand that you always refer back to.
When I worked for a Plus Size clothing label, we would grab women off the factory floor to fit to. In some ways this was great, we got to fit on real people. In other ways not having that ‘stake in the sand’ body figure locked in was too random. I guess what I’m trying to say is you can’t please all of the people all of the time. As an industry though, I think we’ve isolated, ignored and mistreated the body shapes that don’t conform to our fit model standard. Sewing for yourself is a way to bypass this treatment and actively stand aside from it.
Enjoy your making!
This is a very revealing and important insight into the pattern industry.
Yes, I found it fascinating: thank you!
AMEN!
Well said!
I love this!
Very well said! And sizing is all over the board in the indie pattern world, anyway. I think that fact actually helped me get over the “numbers” issue and guided me to just pick whatever size corresponds to my measurements on a company’s size chart.
A great post. Thank you for sharing.
My mum says always: The number in the clothes aren’t important. Important is how they fit and how you feel wearing them.
Wonderful post and if you just started to sew, watch out! That dress you have on is fantastic!!
Beautiful!
“The numbers were just map markers, not symbols dripping with meaning about one’s value as a woman.” Thank you for such true words…
AMEN!!! I used to weigh more and was always self-conscious about my clothing size. Now that I sew, I don’t care nearly as much. I’m hippy and I always need a forward shoulder and an FBA. “Sew” what? 🙂 I’m more comfortable in the clothes I’ve made and adjusted for myself than in 90% of my RTW.
The numbers mean nothing. The joy in feeling good about yourself and what you’ve done? Everything.
So well said. Standing ovation- the crowd goes wild!
I hope the crowd gets the same joy from laughing at pattern lines too!
Yes!!!! Wonderfully put. I hope you have that lovely positive attitude all the time.
Ha yes, most of the time…. until I discover I’ve sewn the wrong seams together!
Beautifully put and a great attitude!
I love this so much! I had just the same experience as you when I started sewing – I was convinced I was massively bigger than other people, and then when I saw all the lines on sewing patterns I was like WTF?! This is a difference of inches, if that! It’s also made me realize that I actually don’t mind being bigger/wider than other people, as long as I don’t look lumpy and bumpy – and that’s what sewing enables me to do, by making clothes that fit me properly. I don’t have anything like the same mental block about sewing a size 24 as I do buying a RTW US 16, and as a result I look a lot better in my clothes. I only wish I’d learned earlier!
It’s hilarious: one minute you think you are some kind of freakish giant: then you realise you are just a bit taller and bigger than other people. When you think about it, it really is the silliest thing to get upset about. Much better to get upset about your bobbin running out of thread mid hem. Even if that does make you want to Destroy. The. World.
Nightmare is the word, Ramona. Weight shame was ingrained in me when I was a girl. I am so thrilled that the young women of the Curvy Sewing Collective along with other young voices are taking charge and are contributing a healthy perspective to our culture’s body image obsession. You are greatly admired.
Lovely post Rosie and I agree with your sentiments. I experience such a joy when I sew (in between the frustration and the cursing and the unpicking LOL) – and producing a garment that fits my body irrespective of the size I’m being told I am on the pattern – is a marvellous thing. Especially when the compliments come and people start asking me to make them dresses (I always say no to that LOL)
I don’t love the fact that I am bigger – of course I’d love to be slimmer just from a comfort point of view, but in my old age (!) I have come to accept that this is the size I am right now and I embrace that fact. I don’t put off sewing anything (or buying anything for that matter) until I ‘lose weight’. I just live for now.
Absolutely. I have a whole section of my wardrobe dedicated to ‘incentive’ clothes: that I love so much I can’t throw away, but which don’t fit. But what is the point? I can give them away and fill the wardrobe with clothes that are made for me and make me look and feel great. Or even better, I can chop them up and make something new out of them!
I think you hit the nail on the head: it really is all about living for now and enjoying every moment.
Thanks Ramona! The inches are such a red herring. I wish we could just use triangles or some other symbols that aren’t laden with shame and guilt. Or just stop attaching shame and guilt to perfectly harmless numbers! I hope you discover the joy soon 🙂
See more sewing joy: http://sparkleneedles.wordpress.com/
What an awesome post. I let the inches bother me and fitting is my nightmare. It’s wonderful to hear the joy in creating, and in creating something to fit. Thanks for sharing.
Ramona